A Story.

Okay, so I'm having my golden birthday this year. For those of you that aren't certain of what I mean, a "golden" birthday is when you turn the same age as the date that you were born.

So I will be 27 on the 27th of this month. (Presents please!!)

Now as such, I sat back and thought about what I wanted. Specifically, my parents every year get me something awesome. Last year it was money for a shopping spree, the year before it was a guitar.. The year prior to that it was an ipod. You get the picture.

This year I was stumped. There wasn't something that I oh-my-god, absolutely wanted. Dad and I talked about going to the MonsterMania convention that they were going to have in Connecticut, but the they decided to push that back until 2011.

And then... they did the unthinkable. They added Tim Curry to their list of celebrities.

Now up until that time I was toying with the idea of maybe going to the one in Maryland. I want to meet Robert Englund and Heather Langenkamp (Nightmares 1, 3 and 7 are my absolute favorites). And then, they went and put my first British crush on there? Hell yes.

So guess what? My birthday will be celebrated a little late, in September, at Hunt Valley! I got my VIP tickets today, and the hotel room. I will be accompanied by Santa himself (after all, he's paying, and he's the one that got me into horror movies in the first place) and I suspect we will have a grand old time.

Why I Hate Diablo Cody.

Okay, I knew the title would get some of you. I can see you, your shoulders all hunched up, glaring at your screen, going "what the fuck? What kind of stupid bitch hates Diablo Cody?"

You know, maybe 1 out of the 8 of you following me.

I don't hate Diablo Cody. Fear not. She just bothers the hell out of me 99 percent of the time.

Backing up, let me just say that I'm super picky about my independent movies. I give them a chance a lot of the time because one of my favorite movies of all time was not only indie, but b-grade horror and Canadian (Ginger Snaps). And I went into it thinking I was going to laugh.

That said, I hate pretentious indie movies. Donnie Darko made me want to stab myself in the face. It's such a self-important piece of crap. If you want something similiar to it but not as obnoxious, rent The Chumscrubber. It's got a much better cast of characters, and it actually says something. And there's no weirdo in a rabbit suit.

I also hated Napoleon Dynamite. Yes, you read that right. Hated. Hated hated. I sat there the entire movie and didn't laugh once. His voice, his words. They were just... dumb. It was like everyone was trying way too hard.

And that's what Diablo Cody does. She tries, way too hard.

Take Juno, which I'm actually watching right now. I love this movie, but some of the dialogue, you just.. you want to hurt someone. Diablo Cody does what I call "trying to make fetch happen". (If you're wondering where I got that, watch Mean Girls) She keeps trying to create her own little language and slang and it just. doesn't. work. Stop trying, Diablo. You'll never make "fetch" happen.

I surprised myself by liking Juno, and the tv show United States of Tara, which is a downgraded Diablo-verse. I don't want to stab things half the time when they talk. They sound fairly normal on that show, so I can deal.

And then.. Jennifer's Body. I wanted to hate Jennifer's Body. It looked like a stupid teen slasher flick with Megan Fox playing... herself.

And she does.. play herself, in my opinion. But I loved the damn movie, and I watch it all the time. But again, she keeps trying with her lingo!

Next up, apparently Diablo's tackling Sweet Valley High. We'll see where that goes...

Sorry about the lack of postage, guys. Stuff makes sense in my head and then when I write it, it eats the big one. Like now I'm having second thoughts about this post. But I'm hitting publish before I can delete it.

Just a short note.

I get it. You don't like Twilight. Okay.

Stop calling it Twatlight. You sound like a moron.

Just saying.

So... much... snark...

So okay, my family just got a beeeautiful new living room set (basically we got everything new except the lighting, our DVD shelves, the carpet, and the walls). We have this gorgeous chocolate brown loveseat and couch set, and a 60 inch flat screen tv.

I also made a contribution, and put a blu ray player in there.

Okay, I'll stop licking the screen over this.

The reason I'm excited is because the other night I was terrribly bored, and decided to watch a movie in there. The movie? Rainbow Bright and the Star Stealer.

Now why is this important to all of you in blogland? I'll tell you why. I watched it, and there was so much damn snark to be had, that I'm going to write a recap of it!

Yes, you read right! I will FINALLY be doing what I promised! I'll be writing a recap!!

Now, it is going to take some time. As a friend of mine said recently, writing isn't easy. And writing while watching a DVD is even harder.

So be prepared!!

In which I totally fail as a blogger.

Do you know it's hard to write stuff on a blog?

It is.

Especially when you think "OMGZ THIS'LL GO RIGHT ON MY BLOG!" when you're out somewhere thinking about this super great topic.. And then you get home.. and well.. you really don't feel like it anymore.

Procrastination ahoy!

That said, sorry for being lame over the no Halloween posts. Or Thankgiving. Or Christmas.

But I will make it up to you. I will tell you what I got for Christmas.

My big gift (besides lots of money) was an Amazon Kindle. Yes, the thing that you put books on. I'd kind of wanted a Barnes & Noble Nook, but due to Barnes & Noble not realizing that ZOMG people read a LOT and putting out a piece of electronics that is not only blatantly awesome but even more blatantly awesome than ever, it was sold out as soon as you could look at it.

And then sold out again. I know it's probably a supply and demand DREAM, but if you want people to buy your stuff... shouldn't you like.. have it to sell? None of this "preorder so we can send it to you sometime in February!" shit. If I want something, I want it now. I hate waiting.

So anyway. I've named my Kindle Giles. Yes. Giles. And yes, my electronics (mostly) have names. My PC is Deep Thought. And I think my iPod had a name, but it won't tell me.

Evil little bastard.

Anyway, I also got a boatload of Wii games: Super Mario Bros. (I played this for 30 minutes and had to put it down because otherwise I would have stayed up all night until I finished it), Punch-Out, Guitar Hero 5, Guitar Hero Smash Hits (which of course includes a song that is the BANE of my existance for reasons I will not put on this blog), and Rock Band 2.

I like my music.

I also received a pair of Grinch Pajamas, including a pair of Merry Grinchmas boxer shorts that will probably live to scare the daylights out of me repeatedly. There's something about Grinchy eyes, dude. Especially at 3am when you're in the bathroom, and as you go to pull up your boxers you realize that you've got 3 scary yellow eyes staring at you. (3 yellow eyes, yes. Apparently there's an overlap on the eyes in the escape flap that mens' boxers are so fond of. Being a girl, I have no use for this flap)

My father also gave me license to buy 6 books for my Kindle (yay!), and my mother and he presented me with a 50 dollar Barnes & Noble gift card, but were rather shocked to learn that I couldn't put anything I bought with the gift card on my precious Kindle. But, I assured them, not only is it impossible for EVERY SINGLE BOOK to be on Kindle, I like real books. It wouldn't go to waste (it didn't).

The money they gave me went to the purchase of 10 books, One Tree Hill season 6 (I seriously needed my Leyton fix. It made me very happy and I'm contemplating re-watching it), House seasons 4 & 5 (have I mentioned my love for older British men yet?), The Wizard of Oz on blu-ray (ooooh so pretty), Angel seasons 1 & 2 (I've never seen it.. I KNOW! I KNOW! It was also on sale 14.99 for 2 seasons together!), and some clothing from Old Navy (ho hum right?).

I just finished watching Julie & Julia, which probably explains why I've hopped onto my blog. And also why I made fettucine alfredo (well.. spaghetti with butter and half and half with parmesean cheese) afterwards. I want to do something, I want to set a goal.

I also want to write my goddamn novel, but that's harder that walking through dry concrete. My thoughts are all up there and zero drafts make no sense to me. Putting it all together means I'll have to re-read it. And when I re-read, I delete.

I was thinking, what if I wrote in the blog about my 2010 goal of 100 books? I did succeed reading 100 this year, but I'm not too sure if people here would really LIKE reading about books that I've read. It might be boring.

What about movies? 100 movies. Or 365 movies next year. One movie a day. Any movie. Even one I've seen before?

I don't know. I'm overreaching. Let me know what you think! I'm currently lurking over at Matt's X-E Christmas Fallout (as Cat the Vampire Slayer), but I'd love to hear what you have to say!

Yay!

So I'm on the Countdown to Halloween, so I promise that I'll.. countdown.

Also, I've acquired my costume! Thanks to Target for once again giving me the inspiration. Or, more like, giving Emily the inspiration for me to steal.

So to all you newcomers, HI! What would YOU like to see me talk about this Halloween?

Halloween Post 1: Who Let the Mummies Out?

So, now it's October. I know this because, well.. my calendar told me.

And because the leaves are falling everywhere, that smell is in the air.. And I'm searching for a good costume to wear to work.

Also, because my pharmacy is now decked out with Halloween awesomeness. I'm already addicted to Bat Dots, and now, I've got things to decorate my car with.

Including, Caeser.

Now, let me tell you a little story.

It's a busy day at work (I'm a technician at a pharmacy chain that consists of 3 letters.). I'm kind of blah, and this girl comes up with something in her hands that she's named Gunther.

Gunther is the kitty cat you see up there. Now, I'd seen him sitting on the shelf at work with the other Halloween knick knacks. What I didn't know, and didn't realize, was that Gunther SINGS.

Yes, he sings. Of course he does. Halloween isn't Halloween without something singing at you.. You know, werewolves of london or thriller or something..

Now she tells me, Gunther sings, and he very much made her day with his singing. Why don't I try him out? He'll make my day.

Now I'm about to say no, but the look on her face tells me that I should indulge. So I press the little purple button on Gunther's leg. Immediately, Gunther springs to life.

Yes, he springs. He flails, and in a shrill voice he opens with:


WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!? WHO!? WHO?! WHO!?

I immediately, out of shock, shut him off, and proceed to laugh. Gunther had made my night in being so ridiculous as to start singing something totally random as Who Let the Dogs Out.

The Baha Men must be so proud that their anthem is being belted by a black cat with bandages all over him.

Now, as soon as he belts this tune and I shut him off, I'd decided. I must have a Gunther of my own. And, to my shock, he's 25 percent off!

So I bought a Gunther, who I've dubbed Caeser, and brought him home to show my family.

Something I hadn't noticed previously that I was happy to find when I got home.. Not only does my Caeser sing and flail? His eyes glow red as he does it!

Talk about Halloween spirit!!

Caeser is going to sit in my rear window, taunting passersby with an unsung song as they see him. He will sit amongst some black and orange garland, and be my mascot for Halloween.

Then maybe I'll put a Santa hat on him....