The New New Nightmare.

Okay. So I got to see the new Nightmare on Elm Street (or as some people are calling it, Nightmare '10) the night it was released. 11:59pm that Thursday, I was in the seats, ready for a new saga to begin.

Now going into it, I knew a couple of things. One, this wasn't going to be the Freddy Kreuger that we all knew in the 80s. This Freddy was darker, and dare I say, maybe even INNOCENT of what he was being accused. Two, that this was a reimagining. Like Halloween before it, it was going to be completely different. It wasn't a sequel.

That said, I knew that Freddy wasn't going to be the same Freddy. Nancy wasn't Nancy, and well, Glenn Lantz wouldn't get eaten by his bed. So I settled into that thought, and maybe that was a good thing.

Because I liked it.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. It was dark, it made me jump. The deaths (for the most part) were pretty damn gory (the first one actually SHOCKED me). The kids were pretty smart, and I liked seeing into Freddy's past. I liked how they didn't just say "oh we convicted him, he got off, so we torched him". No. This felt pretty real.

Now granted, maybe if the names were changed, this could have been another horror movie, maybe one that more people would have enjoyed. But then they'd be on their blogs talking about how that movie was just a rip off of Nightmare on Elm Street. I mean, sure, new!Freddy's makeup wasn't the same as our old Freddy, but honestly? I wasn't a big fan of the original Freddy's makeup. It looked weird, and didn't bring to mind a burned man.

It brought to mind pizza. (Don't believe me? Check out Freddy in Space's Freddy or Cheese Pizza post)

The new Freddy's makeup looked like he was burned. Maybe around the mouth it was a little strange, but it was more realistic. If the original Nightmare makeup had been on this one, and we hadn't yet seen a Freddy Kreuger, we would have cried foul. We would have said "that looks so crappy! it's so fake!".

My only big problem was that Nancy (why did they need to name her Nancy? It wasn't like the Halloween reimagining where all the characters were the same. Nancy and Freddy were the only ones with similar names, and this Nancy's name was Holbrook), while a good actress, didn't enunciate. She mumbled, and I'm sure a lot of people had no clue what she was saying.

Oh and also, her art sucked. She looked like she worked 'so hard' on it.. and it was stick figures. I could call myself an artist too, if that's the case.

But otherwise, I really did enjoy the movie. I left Robert Englund's Freddy outside the door, and Jackie's Freddy didn't hinder anything. He didn't make me yell about the new Freddy in town, but I don't regret going to see the movie.

And I may go see it again, just to be sure.

A Story.

Okay, so I'm having my golden birthday this year. For those of you that aren't certain of what I mean, a "golden" birthday is when you turn the same age as the date that you were born.

So I will be 27 on the 27th of this month. (Presents please!!)

Now as such, I sat back and thought about what I wanted. Specifically, my parents every year get me something awesome. Last year it was money for a shopping spree, the year before it was a guitar.. The year prior to that it was an ipod. You get the picture.

This year I was stumped. There wasn't something that I oh-my-god, absolutely wanted. Dad and I talked about going to the MonsterMania convention that they were going to have in Connecticut, but the they decided to push that back until 2011.

And then... they did the unthinkable. They added Tim Curry to their list of celebrities.

Now up until that time I was toying with the idea of maybe going to the one in Maryland. I want to meet Robert Englund and Heather Langenkamp (Nightmares 1, 3 and 7 are my absolute favorites). And then, they went and put my first British crush on there? Hell yes.

So guess what? My birthday will be celebrated a little late, in September, at Hunt Valley! I got my VIP tickets today, and the hotel room. I will be accompanied by Santa himself (after all, he's paying, and he's the one that got me into horror movies in the first place) and I suspect we will have a grand old time.

Why I Hate Diablo Cody.

Okay, I knew the title would get some of you. I can see you, your shoulders all hunched up, glaring at your screen, going "what the fuck? What kind of stupid bitch hates Diablo Cody?"

You know, maybe 1 out of the 8 of you following me.

I don't hate Diablo Cody. Fear not. She just bothers the hell out of me 99 percent of the time.

Backing up, let me just say that I'm super picky about my independent movies. I give them a chance a lot of the time because one of my favorite movies of all time was not only indie, but b-grade horror and Canadian (Ginger Snaps). And I went into it thinking I was going to laugh.

That said, I hate pretentious indie movies. Donnie Darko made me want to stab myself in the face. It's such a self-important piece of crap. If you want something similiar to it but not as obnoxious, rent The Chumscrubber. It's got a much better cast of characters, and it actually says something. And there's no weirdo in a rabbit suit.

I also hated Napoleon Dynamite. Yes, you read that right. Hated. Hated hated. I sat there the entire movie and didn't laugh once. His voice, his words. They were just... dumb. It was like everyone was trying way too hard.

And that's what Diablo Cody does. She tries, way too hard.

Take Juno, which I'm actually watching right now. I love this movie, but some of the dialogue, you just.. you want to hurt someone. Diablo Cody does what I call "trying to make fetch happen". (If you're wondering where I got that, watch Mean Girls) She keeps trying to create her own little language and slang and it just. doesn't. work. Stop trying, Diablo. You'll never make "fetch" happen.

I surprised myself by liking Juno, and the tv show United States of Tara, which is a downgraded Diablo-verse. I don't want to stab things half the time when they talk. They sound fairly normal on that show, so I can deal.

And then.. Jennifer's Body. I wanted to hate Jennifer's Body. It looked like a stupid teen slasher flick with Megan Fox playing... herself.

And she does.. play herself, in my opinion. But I loved the damn movie, and I watch it all the time. But again, she keeps trying with her lingo!

Next up, apparently Diablo's tackling Sweet Valley High. We'll see where that goes...

Sorry about the lack of postage, guys. Stuff makes sense in my head and then when I write it, it eats the big one. Like now I'm having second thoughts about this post. But I'm hitting publish before I can delete it.

Just a short note.

I get it. You don't like Twilight. Okay.

Stop calling it Twatlight. You sound like a moron.

Just saying.

So... much... snark...

So okay, my family just got a beeeautiful new living room set (basically we got everything new except the lighting, our DVD shelves, the carpet, and the walls). We have this gorgeous chocolate brown loveseat and couch set, and a 60 inch flat screen tv.

I also made a contribution, and put a blu ray player in there.

Okay, I'll stop licking the screen over this.

The reason I'm excited is because the other night I was terrribly bored, and decided to watch a movie in there. The movie? Rainbow Bright and the Star Stealer.

Now why is this important to all of you in blogland? I'll tell you why. I watched it, and there was so much damn snark to be had, that I'm going to write a recap of it!

Yes, you read right! I will FINALLY be doing what I promised! I'll be writing a recap!!

Now, it is going to take some time. As a friend of mine said recently, writing isn't easy. And writing while watching a DVD is even harder.

So be prepared!!