Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Once You Watch This Movie, You'll Die..

So I had an idea of writing a blog post all about 80's cartoons, as I fell asleep today watching Rainbow Brite ("Horse of a Different Color" for those of you that want to know which one!).. But I found something more amusing for today!


I was searching through Netflix for horror movies, and after dropping Poultrygeist onto my queue (don't ask), I found a listing for something called "Cheezy Horror Movie Trailers, Vol.1".

My first thought: There's more than one volume?

My second thought: I CAN WATCH THIS INSTANTLY!

It's only an hour long, but it's kind of amusing. Unfortunately 3 of the trailers are repeated, and a couple of actual classic horror movies are listed here. (Friday the 13th, House on Haunted Hill, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane..) But otherwise, oh goodness.

This is one of them: The Sinful Dwarf.

I'm not going to kill your computers by embedding a whole video on this blog, and also, I'm not quite sure how to do it here. (Oops.) The gist I got out of it was that this midget (who looks like a shrunken Dan Goodman, according to a friend of mine) lives with his mom, and his mom goes out and kidnaps girls for him to violate.

Now if that ain't a horror classic... thank god!

Next up is: The Equinox.

Now I'm not even sure what the hell this movie's about, but the trailer had me almost on the floor laughing. I mean, TERRIBLE. You see a skeleton and then OH MY GOD OLD MAN! It's like in the middle of the filming, the director's grandfather pops up to be like "what are you up to, sonny?". Grandpa, get out of the frame! You're ruining the film--- eh whatever, stay there. You're kind of weird looking.. Oh and the 'scary' sudden horse too..

One that wasn't on the dvd that I know is a classic amongst bad horror is Manos: The Hands of Fate. Unfortunately I can't find a trailer anywhere on YouTube for this, but there's tons of REMAKE info. A bunch of fan made stuff. You can also watch pieces of this godforsaken movie there, but I don't recommend it unless it's part of MST3K. Otherwise you may gouge your own eyes out.

Well there you have it, just a few of the 800 different really bad movies that are out there. I realize that I only put 3 down, and they're all from the 60s or 70s, but think about it this way: If I sat here and put out all the cheesy trailers, we'd be here forever!

Back then, there was no such thing as straight to video. People actually went and paid to see this stuff in the theatre. And sometimes, we still go and pay for crappy movies -coughWhiteNoisecough-.

I promise I'm not all horror movies and stuff. 80s Cartoons ARE on the way. Whenever I get off my butt. If you really want to get me off my butt, buy me a copy of The Magic of Herself the Elf.

Then I'll worship you and write a blogpost all about the awesomeness of you. Just sayin'.

1 comment:

  1. I have only seen Manos: The Hands of Fate only with the protective barrier of MST3K, and even that was almost too much to take at times. I can't imagine watching it all by itself. Ugh.

    Speaking of MST3K, I couldn't even sit through Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Maybe it was just me.

    Oh yeah and White Noise was pretty damn bad indeed.